It’s been really a long time since I wrote on this page, as I always fall short of topics to write on. This evening I have so much to write and am happy that I can share my thoughts here :).
I was deep into my thoughts this evening, thinking about gone past and unknown future, sitting in the corner of my room with “Computer Networks” book in front me. I was lost in my inner world, juggling with unanswerable questions, finding reasons for all that happens in life, trying to understand the right and wrong to console and condemn my own self. I was filled with confusions, not knowing where my thoughts were leading me to. Some people/happenings in life leave behind a strong foot print resulting in complete change in one’s own understanding and living of life. These changes may take us in the right direction or may mislead. But I am fortunate enough to have taken the right direction most of the times. Still I wish I could rewind my life to erase all that which made me feel unpleasant and relive all that which made me feel merry. But it’s always true that every unpleasant situation has thought me something valuable which I should remember throughout. It took me a long time to calm down my thoughts and relate my mistakes to the changes in me today which has made me the person I am. It’s equally true that life still has a huge store of experiences for me to make me even better. Having realized this after a tuff inner war, I closed my eyes for few seconds to surrender all my thoughts to god, to ask for forgiveness for all blunders that I have done, to thank him for making me realize the truth and for guiding me in every step of life.
Now I felt a sense of relief, as my mind and heart seemed to be lighter than they weighed a few minutes back. I opened my eyes and simply walked out of the room to stand in the corridor to breath fresh air. The minute I stepped into the corridor, Guess What??? There come the first rain drops of the season!!! I was surprised and took a couple of minutes to confirm if it had really started to rain or my water tank was overflowing :P. I was right and it had started to rain. Wow!!! What a moment that was!!! I have no words to explain how joyous I felt within. I was waiting from a long long time for this moment, as rain always brings loads of freshness and joy to me. I felt those little drops on my face and hands and even smelt the wetness in air which rejuvenated my senses. It started to rain heavily within few minutes and I was thrilled to feel the cool breeze. Small yellow flowers were falling down from the nearby tree and it was lovely to see a small girl run through it with her hands wide open and head facing up to feel the flowers and drops of rain on her face. It was truly a wonderful moment!!! Strokes of lightening lit up the dark sky every now and then, as if the beauty of rain was being captured in a camera. I really could not believe that my mood had changed in a matter of 10min and I was so much thankful to god for blessing me with such a soothing moment, as I had least expected it after a gloomy hour.
I know that all my questions are still unanswered and all my confusions are still unresolved. But I am sure that, “Everything that happens in life is for a reason and whatever happens is for good”. If not now, I will get to know the reason sometime in life, when the time is right. I will not go back to the so called unpleasant moments again and I wish to thank god for this beautiful life :)